Betrayal Trauma

Betrayal Trauma - What to Expect

Infidelity is one of the single most damaging things that can happen in a relationship. It goes beyond the physical betrayal to the much more deep-seated emotional betrayal. This betrayal erodes trust which is the foundation of marriages. When this trust is damaged the whole relationship is put at risk.

Here are a few of the reactions to what you will be feeling:

I Can't Believe it is Happening to me. Its like wakening up from a nightmare. Shock You walk around in a daze not focusing. Uncontrollable sobbing. Its okay, go and have a good cry. Release the emotion.

Don't drive yourself Crazy asking why? Why does this happen to someone good like me? Or your spouse says you are imagining things or you are crazy. Oh! I don't think so.

You feel negative and angry. Try to keep calm and collect.

Do not discuss the affair with your children. Do not involve your children at all.

You find it hard to sleep. Get some exercise or walks to destress.

Lies, Lies and More Lies. We have to have the truth. Deny, deny, deny.

Low self-esteem - you seem to blame yourself.

Depression - take one baby step at a time. Keep busy. Seek the support of your family.

Betrayed Spouses Information by Dr. Huizenga, "Infidelity Coach" the Expert

How Long does betrayal exist ?

Studies and research indicate it will take from 2 to 4 years to "work through" a relationship crisis of this magnitude.
That is it will take that long if you "let time heal" or "let nature take its course" or cling to your old patterns of relating.

You can speed the process. You can break out of the mold. You can quicken the healing and change. This site is here for that purpose. And, it's not really a mystery how this is done. You can learn fairly simple skills which applied to the right circumstances at the right time help you get much faster what you really want. Most people haven't learned the skills or when to apply them so it seems like a dark deep mystery. Not so.

*Is infidelity killing your marriage... or you?
*Are you tired of all the lies, excuses and cheating?
*Are you afraid you won't survive the affair?

Be able to know what his/her next move might be. And, plan your words and actions accordingly to change the flow of history. This is easier than you might think - once you know the patterns.

Check Out Dr. Huizenga's, "Infidelity Coach" Marriage Saving eBook today...don't delay...

FOUR MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT AFFAIRS
excerpted from Sexual Detours by
Holly Hein, Ph.D.
1. Marital partners are responsible when one of the partners chooses a sexual detour.

2. The marriage is over. Not necessarily at all.
It takes two people to have a marital relationship.
A marriage where one or both of the partners have unexpressed and unmet needs is not a marriage where intimacy exists. What we learn about ourselves on a sexual detour and are able to integrate into our lives may enrich and strengthen our marriage. When an affair ends, a real marriage may actually begin.

3. Sex in the marriage has failed. We are sexual; beings capable of having multiple sexual partners. Intimacy is another story. We rarely have several intimate relationships. Intimate relationships are not easily substituted. A marriage that has undergone the challenge of surviving a sexual detour can be successful in every way. Intimacy can be established. Sex can become an expression of the intimacy the relationship did not have before.

4.An affair means we no longer love our spouse. An affair does not reflect on love as much as it does on our ability to understand ourselves or communicate with another. Affairs mean different things to different people.