Break Free From The Affair

You Are Susan Boyle

We are Susan Boyle.

Susan Boyle is the dowdy, frizzy haired, overweight, single, never-been-kissed, unemployed 47 year old woman who lives with her cat, Pebbles, and appeared on Britain Talent Show (similar to American Idol.)

She took the show and audience by storm. And, now she (her performance) has the world writing, reading and viewing this extraordinary event beyond belief.

I spent at least 3 hours Sunday playing the video over and over and over. It brought a verible flood of feelings and thoughts that I could not let go. I was mesmerized.

What's the appeal? What's the power?

Much has been written on the power of her performance and I too, want to share my thoughts?

So, who is Susan Boyle?

You look at Susan Boyle and you see yourself. You don't want to admit it, but you see yourself. There is this self in the hidden recesses of the greater you that you avoid. You look at Susan and see that part of you that is unattractive and dowdy. You see the part that feels isolated, that feels alone and unconnected, that part that long ago had a dream but that dream shattered by the perceived reality of your world. You see that dufuss.

And you see that part most powerfully when you are in crisis, when you face loss, when your worth and essence is called into question when you face failure and when you live the life flattened by the shattered dream. There she is... that dufuss.

And so, the audience looked at Susan and in their latent anxiety began to roll their eyes, ridicule, mock and deride Susan for her seeming dowdiness. What a dufuss! Simon rolls his eyes. Amanda, "What's THIS?" Piers laughs. (The panel of judges.)

And then Susan begins to sing... and her voice emerges. This is the "real" Susan. This is the part of her that for so long wanted to be expressed, wanted to emerge. Her dream speaks! Beautiful! Powerful! The heart and soul of Susan in all her inner boldness and confidence stands before us.

The anxiety bound ridicule of the audience is transformed to cheers and applause as Susan begins to sing, "I dreamed a dream in time dream. (Yes, maybe for me too, there is that inner core of strength and beauty that wants to sing with notes of clarity and perfection. I too remember that dream in time gone by.)

The camera shifts to Piers who swallows that lump when he hears "Then I was young and unafraid, And dreams were made and used and wasted."

And Susan ends:

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

This is all of us. This is all of us, especially as life around us seemingly recedes. We lose. We lose the "dream." We believe we are diminished.

But, perhaps it was the wrong dream? Or, not MY dream? Or maybe there was something else... all along.

...That the audience and judges (and the other 80,000,000 views of this video) discover as Susan becomes her Dream.

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living

I encourage you... view the video.
If you haven't seen the video (viewed by over 80,000,000 at this point) see it now. Try one of these link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk,
Reflect upon your battle with infidelity, which is in reality, your battle with yourself... that battle of finding and speaking that powerful, true, beautiful voice within.

Stop the agony of the affair! Find your strength and courage! Learn how to shake his/her world. Pinpoint the most powerful strategies to stop the affair. Learn exactly what to say and when to say it (according to one of the 7 different types of affairs). Get the highly acclaimed e-book, "Break Free From the Affair" Ebook click here.

Both of you are committed (well, mostly) to rebuilding the relationship. Learn how to rebuild trust slowly but surely. Learn how to avoid the "swirl" and eliminate judgments and put downs. Move beyond need-meeting. Go beyond confrontation. Go beyond making amends. Create a relationship appropriate for new intimacy.