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The
Art of Breaking Up by Joe Vetromile
Sometimes,
relationships run their course. You may be at fault or not, but when its time
to bring your relationship to an end, you want to do so cleanly and effectively.
Here are some suggestions: |
1) If you have personal
items at your lover's place, you want to begin getting them back. This is much
more difficult to do after the breakup. If your lover has things around your home,
put these in a box and have them ready to move. Be thorough - you don't want to
have things left around for him/her to need to come back for later. 2)
Don't involve your friends, family, coworkers, etc., in the breakup. This is only
between you and your mate. Adding others to the breakup just increases the humiliation
factor. 3) If
you're afraid of a scene, break up at a public venue such as a restaurant. However,
don't "lure" your soon-to-be-ex lover there under false pretenses. Explain
that you want to "talk about your relationship." 4)
Don't wait until a "good time." Do it as soon as you make the decision.
Waiting only prolongs the inevitable and makes it even more difficult. Be bold! 5)
However, don't breakup on a day with special significance. For example, don't
breakup on Christmas Day, Easter, or your ex-partner's birthday. This is cruel,
and may spoil that day for this person for many future years. 6)
Don't hedge - get to the point. Be clear and specific. Don't blame or argue, and
don't prolong the event. Again I say…be bold! 7)
Don't breakup in stages! Some people; either through fear of losing someone, or
a feeling that their sparing their ex-lover's feelings do the "series breakup".
They start by getting distant, then, they suggest that both of them see other
people, then, they stop answering the telephone, etc. This just causes the pain
to be extended for a longer period of time than is necessary. 8)
Be considerate of your ex-lover's feelings, but don't back down. Also, don't promise
to stay in touch, stay friends, or say that maybe you can get back together after
you "get your head together". This leads to false hopes. 9)
Don't unload your hurt or anger on this person. Be detached, unemotional, and
specific. 10)
And Finally, don't badmouth your x once everything has been resolved. Remember
that old saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say" you know the
rest.
Breaking up is very difficult for both the person doing it as well as
the person getting dumped. Always remember that you saw something special in that
person when you first got together. Regardless of what happened to cause the break
up, they are still the same person you met and have a right to their dignity. Be
bold, be compassionate, and be truthful. Follow these guidelines, and you have
mastered the Art of Breaking up.
The ritual of hooking up with a soul-mate
may be arduous at times, the end result of finding that perfect someone to share
the rest of your life with, is well worth the effort.
Courtesy of http://www.articlealley.com
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