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Building
Self-Esteem
by growthcentral.com
Self Esteem is
learned behavior. If you didn't have good models of self esteem as children from
your parents, or at school, then you may never have had the opportunity to acquire
the habit for yourself. Men and women traditionally have different social orientations
as well. Many people want to break out of their passive roles but often make the
mistake of believing that the only alternative is to be aggressive and they see
aggressive behavior as unacceptable. Self Esteem behavior is the third way and,
unlike aggressive behavior. Recognizing
aggression, submission and self esteem Aggressive
behavior is characterized by shouting, pointing, making threats, swearing and
insulting other people. Aggressive language includes over-use of I-statements,
put-downs, stating opinions as facts (obviously..., anyone can see...). Submissive
behavior is characterized by fidgety movements, fear of eye contact, whining tones,
apologies, beating about the bush. Self Esteem behavior involves a relaxed stance,
steady eye contact, calm voice, appropriate use of I-statements and suggestions
and questions rather opinions and threats. Situations
where people find self esteem behavior difficult It
may be difficult to: express
praise and affection openly
give vent to negative feelings
refuse requests
and invitations
show anger
give a personal opinion
complain
ask for help
To decide if you have problems with self esteem behavior, look
at the list above and make note of the situations when you have problems in these
areas. The difficulties might arise at home, at work, with elders or superiors,
with friends, in social situations or dealing with day-to-day matters such as
shopping, doctors' appointments, parents' meetings. Putting
self esteem behavior into practice: fundamentals Constantly
striving to live up to some unattainable ideal can make you feel inadequate. One
way of reversing the negative attitudes you may be carrying inside about yourself,
is to focus on what is positive in others and in your own situation. Start verbalizing
what you like about your family and friends and they will start to return the
compliments. Make a resolution to say something positive to each person you meet
during a day: 'I like your hairstyle today; that color suits you.' Make a list
of the ten things you like most about your home and your work. Start training
yourself to look for the positive aspects of your situation. Next you need to
focus on yourself and list your own best attributes. This process is not designed
to blind you to shortcomings and problems but to help you have a more balanced
view of your world
 The
Real Solution - click
here
- Offers skills and concepts to overcome and manage assertiveness problems. It
is most effective for those who are fully aware of their need to find help for
their assertiveness problems. Goals for participants are to reduce shame, guilt,
and isolation, to learn effective coping skills leading to increase self-esteem.
The
Complete Self Esteem Workbook
Suffering from low self
esteem is a very frustrating thing, as you sink lower into it, the world around
you and any way out of the situation seems to close up around you. You
are blocked and confined and feel unable to be who you know you are underneath
it all. It is
all well and good to give yourself a pep talk, to pull yourself together and try
to view your life differently. But we all know that that approach has a limited
and temporary result. The
stark truth of the matter is that things are not going to magically change all
by themselves; it takes a decisive and structured approach to bring about lasting
change, the action you need to take in order to effectively remove the problem
of low self esteem is covered in detail in the course. It
is possible for you to change, but to change in a definite, positive and lasting
way it takes something more than a “new year’s resolution,” a "positive
thought" or even a “determined effort.” It
is a problem of knowing what to do to effectively change the fixed and negative
frame of mind which is behind your low self esteem, once you know how to do that,
once you have the key for that door, it opens without effort and the opening of
it can be called nothing other than a personal revelation. Low
self esteem is a real problem and it takes a positive solution to crack it -
The
Complete Self Esteem Workbook click here
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