|
Confronting
Unfaithful Cheater  After
you have collected all of your evidence and facts you can begin the process of
what we will term "confronting the unfaithful cheater". Confronting,
pleading and arguing won’t work.
If
you do not have proof; do not "Confront".
Go back to my page on
Catch Cheating Spouse
and get all
of the evidence as to why you are certain they are cheating.
Do not
even read further. Do not get caught. Try
to stay, calm and collect. We know you are seething underneath your volatile exterior.
If you are stressed-out get some exercise firstly. "Confront" them in
a positive caring way.
Why
Do We Need to have Our Questions Answered?
Confronting Cheating Spouse means what we will
call “problemize.” Periodically make comments about the problem(s) you
see. MAKE SURE you use words, tone of voice and body language that convey acceptance,
concern and lack a tone of judgment, condemnation or a sense of superiority.
Some examples are: Do you ever think of what kind of role model you are to your
children?, Do you ever wonder how long this marriage will last?
Vital
information for you Right now!!!
How to Problemize - Do not involve your friends
or family;
Do not throw selected bible verses at them.
Why you should
never say you have changed.
This critical information is available to you
right now - read further....
Click
Here for more Information re. Cheater Cheater Affair Repeater |
For example: “Does
it ever seem to you that you are going through the same thing now as when you
first met me?” “Do you ever stop to think what impact your net/phone
relationships will have on our relationship?” “Do you ever think there
is more to life than meeting someone on the net?” “You must get a ‘high’
out of these relationships?” “I wonder what you are REALLY looking for?”
“I wonder what
I eventually will do with this.” “I wonder if you will always be looking?”
“ Get the
idea? Leave a question in your voice. Open the door for her to talk and explore.
This is your first step. If, over time, her actions persist, begin to think about
what you are willing to tolerate and what actions you may need to take. But, first,
problemize and see where that goes.
Dr.
Bob Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, is offering a series of 3 FREE Webinars on:
C.O.P (Confronting the Other Person in Infidelity) Risks and Rewards. The three
FREE Webinars will cover: Webinar
#1: "Confronting the Other Person - Risks and Rewards Considering the 7 Types
of Affairs" Webinar
#2: An interview with Linda whom tells her story of NOT confronting the other
person as she faced her husband's emotional affair. Webinar
#3: "41 Steps of Preparation and Assessment for Confronting the Other Person" Each
FREE webinar is limited to 100 participants. In the webinar you have the opportunity
to listen, observe, receive free handouts and gifts as well as ask your pertinent
questions.
Free Webinar Invitation for more information.
Remember
If
someone behaves badly in your presence, giving that adult a “time out”
is a powerful and subtle way of addressing the problem. All you need to do is
become very polite and distant around the person who is not treating you well.
No personal talk and interaction, no joking, no emotion. Be very polite, so the
person cannot accuse you of being unpleasant, mean or rude. There is no need to
explain what you are doing: the problem person will get the message from your
behavior -- which is much more effective. Most people will change, but even if
the person's behavior doesn't change, you can leave him or her in "time out"
and you won’t have to be anxious about his or her behavior. | 
