| I
have experienced the raw heartache, feelings of helplessness and anger that betrayal
can arouse. Not every spouse is unfaithful, but how do you know? Lets start with
the signs of infidelity. You
would be amazed that the number of people who contact me stating they have found
a receipt for two identifcal gifts the person has purchased for their other person.
Xmas and Valentines Day is an ideal opportunity for them to send gifts, cards
or even ecards.
If people knew how to recognize the telltale signs of infidelity,
more marriages could be saved. There
are definite changes in attitude, daily unusual behavior and changes in the relationship
toward you. There
is a whole host of excuses, loss or increase of sex drive (depending on which
stage they are at in the affair), activity on bank and credit card charges, as
well as changes in phone and computer use. There are repeated hang-up calls. Erases
the call log or locks the cell phone. The
cheater, out of guilt, can start acting mean, vague, distracted, secretive, defensive,
or otherwise abusive toward you. The cheater has a stake in doing this and making
you the one at fault in order to justify the affair. Your partner might also want
to find you cheating or accuse you of doing so, in order to also ease the guilty
conscience. The
future of a marriage may well depend on a spouse's ability to recognize the telltale
signs in time. Hints turn into flirtations, secrets into lies, flirtations turn
into attractions, attractions turn into affairs, and affairs turn into disasters.
They
start to improve their general appearance, new wardrobe, especially sexy under-garments,
wearing cologne. Also working out. Use
your Intuition - Don't let your Spouse tell you it is your imagination. Very often
they are in denial and will not admit anything unless you have proof. Your intuition
(gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.
Money
becomes more of an issue between the two of you. Affairs are expensive. Demonstrated
disinterest in just about everything you do or say. Your partner is emotional
detached.
Sudden
explosive displays of affection or anger can also be a bad sign, as the partner
might be transferring emotional reactions from the infidelity onto you simply
because you see each other more often.
Unfortunately
many affairs happen too soon in a relationship and many others happen despite
warning signals that one partner chooses to ignore.
Signs of Infidelity
““A cheating husband can be exposed by the gifts he gives and receives,”
says Infidelity Expert Ruth Houston. Ms. Houston author of
Is
He Cheating on You?: 829 Telltale Signs
Certain signs of infidelity
can help you determine the identity of the Other Woman or Other Man.Stay
alert for financial signs of infidelity.The earlier you spot the signs of infidelity,
the better your chances of saving your marriage -- or of protecting yourself legally
and financially in case the infidelity leads to divorce.
Illicit affairs
depend on repeated contact; many of which take place by phone or email. These
telltale signs of infidelity are relatively easy to find.
Many signs
of infidelity can give you valuable information about the type and nature of the
affair.
If
you know what to look for, you can find countless signs of infidelity using just
your eyes, your ears and your personal knowledge of your mate.
Certain
things about signs of infidelity come as a surprise to most people.
This comprehensive guide to detecting infidelity lists the telltale signs of infidelity. Is
He Cheating on You?: 829 Telltale Signs
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Bill
Mitchell has an excellent little book on what to do if you see the signs of infidelity,
etc. - what your next step should be. His
eight signs of adultery are: Defensive
Behavior, Changes in Affection and Sexual Activity, Financial Woes, Communication
Problems, Unexplained Absences, Need to Be Alone, Pattern and Lifestyle Changes,
Wardrobe Renovation
Mitchell
says the workplace as the most prevalent location where adultery is cultivated.
Cheaters:
180 Telltale Signs Mates Are Cheating and How to Catch Them 1.
Your mate is more attentive to your needs than usual. This is due to the guilt
feelings experienced by the cheater in the early stages of his or her affair.
The attention will
diminish as the affair continues.
2. Your mate
begins buying you gifts -- lots of gifts. These are "Guilt Gifts" purchased
because your partner feels guilty about betraying
you and showering you with presents makes him or her feel better.
3.
Your mate's behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something isn't right.
If this happens, pay attention to your instincts. Ignoring them means you want
to blind yourself to the truth. You know your mate's habits, routines and attitudes
better than anybody, so be suspicious when these things change.
4. Your
mate frequently picks fights with you. Doing this gives him reason to get mad
and storm out of the house and thus the opportunity to meet a lover. A cheater
may also do this because of mixed emotions he is feeling about betraying you.
5. Your spouse constantly talks about your relationship ending when you
fight or argue. She says things like, "What would you do if our relationship
ended?" or "If anything ever happened to us, I would always love you
like a friend." In general, she seems very negative about your relationship.
Your mate makes these statements because she has a lover to fall back on if your
relationship ends. If your partner repeats these kinds of statements often, be
suspicious.
Get
the book: Cheaters:
180 Telltale Signs Mates Are Cheating and How to Catch Them
The Signs of Infidelity
Would you
know how to tell if you are disconnected from your spouse? Examine Your Partner
- decide if they are basically a good decent person or are they really a liar
(perhaps they have lied from the beginning), abusive, etc. Maybe you are sugar-coating
your relationship and are reflecting on the past ideals when you were dating.But--if
you love your spouse, if there was value in the marriage, if there are children
and family to consider--see if you can reach into yourself to find the strength
and wisdom to "fight" for your marriage.
Do not get caught up in
being needy. Needy people become victims.
If the signs point to infidelity
then expose the affair fast. Please be sure as when a spouse has been confronted
about an affair and then denies it, they will start to be twice as careful when
cheating, then they will cover their tracks faster than lightning. If
your relationship has any of these infidelity signs, it's time to make a move
now —before they "progress" into larger problems.
Remember:
A sure
sign of infidelity is starting fights for petty reasons, making you feel guilty
or blaming you, or checking in with you so they can plot their infidelity.
Recognize
the Signs of a Cheating Spouse - click
here. |
