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Abuser
Red Flag Warnings
by Arizona Terri Jealous
of time or resources you give others:
Gets angry if you spend "too much
time" with friends, family, or children.
Insists that it is "a bad
time" to talk to family on the phone.
Feels that resources are "wasted"
if given to children.
Gets angry if you do favors for other people or give
them things.
Would rather throw something away than give it to someone else. Is
disinterested in or feels threatened by your personal desires or goals:
Finds
your hobbies boring, pointless, unproductive, or a waste of time.
Is uncooperative
about attending parties or events that interest you.
Picks a fight or creates
a crisis just before an event that is important to you.
States or implies
that your interests should not interfere with spending time with them. Is
rude or inconsiderate of others in a self-centered way:
Insists on discussing
something with you while you are trying to read or watch television.
Expects
you to be the one who answers the door or telephone.
Expects you to drop what
you are doing when summoned.
Interrupts others while talking on a consistent
basis.
Will not act to accommodate others' convenience or comfort.
Won't
go outside to smoke.
Will not turn down TV or radio while others are talking.
Is unconcerned and unapologetic if rude behavior is pointed out. Does
not respect your right to make your own decisions:
Insists that your decision
"affects them" and therefore should be a "joint" decision.
Gets angry or hurt if you don't take their advice.
Criticizes or questions
the wisdom of decisions that you make without their input. Considers
their own logic or intellect to be superior to all others:
Insists that their
way is the "right way."
Claims that their arguments are based on
logic or sound evidence and that yours are not.
Places no value on decisions
made based on feelings or intuition.
Believes that any opinion you have is
invalid, illogical, hysterical, or selfish.
Is completely intolerant of any
criticism of their own behavior.
Is confident that their employer and/or employees
are all defective somehow.
Considers your friends to be idiots. Extremely
opinionated and critical of others:
Racist or sexist.
Dogmatic about behavior
in others.
Unwilling to tolerate opinions that differ from their own.
Has double standards for behavior.
Is rude to your family.
Dislikes your
family. Has "trouble"
at work:
Is chronically unemployed or changes jobs frequently.
Explains
employment setbacks as some sort of victimization.
Believes that their boss
treats them poorly.
Believes that their coworkers are working against them. Disregards
laws or social customs that interfere with their own goals or pleasure:
Sees
no point in observing holidays or giving gifts.
Is disinterested in following
family or religious customs.
Believes that people who work hard for a living
are "suckers."
Is scornful of the government or the "system."
Uses illegal drugs. Is
very concerned about their public image:
Treats you better in public than
in private.
Gets angry at you if they believe that you have somehow made them
look bad to others.
Brags about you or your accomplishments to others, but
never compliments you in private. Attempts
to make you jealous or insecure:
Threatens to leave you.
Hints or states
that they have other lovers waiting on the side.
Compares you to previous
lovers.
Admires strangers and compares you to them.
Tells you that no
one will ever care about you the way they do. *The
above is a compilation of assessments provided by a variety of victims of verbal
abuse, based on their individual experiences, so not all may apply to you and/or
an abusive person you know.
Read more on How to Free Yourself from Verbal
abuse: Courtesy:
http://hometown.aol.com/azterri/abuser-victim-red-flag-warnings.html
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